I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
