I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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