I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
