I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
