i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
