she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
