I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
