Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
