he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
