i just had sex bonerless
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
