so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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