She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
