I hate all girls vehemently.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
