All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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