if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
