She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
