You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
