# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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