How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Someone signed my nipple.
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