Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
