You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
