Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
