Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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