I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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