i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
