some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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