sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
