So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
