Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
