Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
A+ Viking dick
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
