Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
