There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
