Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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