it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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