I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
