Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
