So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
