Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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