Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
