Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
