I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
