I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
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