DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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