my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They took my balls.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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