Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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