update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
