Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
