i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
