You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
