we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
